The Power of Self Confidence

I was reading a book by John Mason recently and I came across these words, “You may succeed if no one else believes in you, but you will never succeed if you don’t believe in yourself”. The truth in these words hit me hard and I could not go any further in the book. I stopped reading further for days so that I could meditate on these words and get them into my spirit and being.

People put a lot of premium on networking and ‘connections’ but neglect the most vital factor in their quest for success – you. If you do not believe in your abilities or capabilities you will never succeed. That is why the subject of self confidence and self esteem are subjects that must be explored by all who desire to succeed.

We have far too many people who believe in God but do not believe in themselves. They believe God can do everything but do not believe that He will and can do great things through them. When you keep disqualifying yourself on the inside, you will never be able to wear a winning look or take a winning posture on the outside. Success is attracted to winning postures, winning actions and winning declarations.
When we are easily bowed and cowered on the inside, we will never be able to rise on the outside. It is vital that you believe in your self and also like yourself so that you may succeed in life. It is good to have an education and I advocate for the best money can buy if you can afford it, but without self confidence education can do you no good. What is the point of education when you lack the confidence to apply it to good use?

In the historical and biblical account of David and Goliath, we find an illustration of a young man who not only believed in God, but also believed in himself. Whilst all the older and more experienced soldiers in the camp of Israel shied away in fear because of the size of Goliath, David confidently approached the giant and called off his bluff. Not only did he call off his bluff, he went further by killing him with just a stone and a catapult. You will never know what you are capable of accomplishing in life until you step out in confidence. This story has many underlying truths and keys for success, but paramount is the fact that what ever skill, talent or education we have now has the potential to take us to our next level if we can only be confident of ourselves.

I remember years ago when I had a strong impression in my guts to start writing and publishing my thoughts. I knew nothing about this line of work but I went out anyway and churned out something from the press mills! Thinking back now, that piece of work was hilarious, but I was more proud of it than what I presently turn out now because without that attempt even this blog and all my other works would not have been a reality. I believe in God’s ability to use man to change the world, but more particularly, I believe that He can work through me too to make that difference. I don’t know about you but I believe that I am a priceless gift to my generation. Some may say that this is arrogance, but I do not think so. When you peep through the windows of this world and see the mountainous problems, unbelief and skepticism that is milling around, you will agree that you need a God sized image of your self to hold your head up in this life.

When you begin to believe in your self you will never accept idleness or mediocrity. You will abhor stagnancy and unproductivity because faith in one’s self gives momentum to your actions and destiny. We wait for things to happen when we believe that others have to make things happen for us, but you move and keep moving when you do realize that your success depends mostly on you. According to Frank Tyger “Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you.”

Sometimes we face circumstances that make us lose confidence in ourselves. For instance repeated rejections and successive failures may destroy our self confidence, but when we do have an understanding that we cannot afford to pack up our lives for any reason we will rise above the worst attacks on our confidence. You may lose many things in this life and never give a care but one thing you must care about and ensure you never lose is your self confidence because it is what makes things happen for you. Your self confidence will turn the ugliest story of your life to a bestseller!

Recently the world was fascinated by the rise of Kate Middleton, now Duchess of Cambridge. This was our own 21st century ‘Cinderella story’. The rise of a ‘commoner’ to royalty gave hope to many that success was possible in this life in spite of the circumstances of birth or our seeming lowly estate. However, Kate had more than luck or a shining star in her favor. She may not be a princess by birth, but she is confident of herself to walk in princely corridors. I watched and listened to most of the commentaries that day of their wedding and one common observation people made was that she was quietly confident in the face of the overwhelming ceremony and attention her wedding to the prince attracted that day. She never missed a beat nor was she caught fidgeting. People were surprised about this calm confidence displayed by Kate, but I stopped being surprised when I read that she had always being a very determined person. A lot of what people display in the open – good or bad is who or what they truly are. As you cannot cover smoke with a lid it is extremely difficult to cover the true character of a person for a long time. Above all the luck and shining stars, Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge and wife of Prince William, Duke of Cambridge is a self confident woman. It is impossible to get that far without some faith in your self.

Opportunities will come and doors will open for us, but the question is, are we confident enough to embrace the responsibilities and rewards?

Motivational speaker and columnist Frank Crane said, “Our best friends and our worst enemies are the thoughts we have about ourselves” and Norman Vincent Peale warned, “Do not build up obstacles in your imagination.” We have to look beyond our present position and circumstances and start looking at where we can be. Several people have succeeded in accomplishing great feats not because they were luckier or have brighter stars, but because they believed that they could. Many I believe can sing and perform better than Beyonce or Rihana, but they have buried themselves in obscurity because they lack the confidence to step out and take a chance. What a waste and loss.

My intention for writing this article is to point us back to ourselves once again. We have been told that God can do all things and this is the truth, but there are some things that God will not do for us. These are the things that we can and are equipped to do for ourselves. You are equipped to believe in your self and rise above every adversity that comes your way, so do. Until you do you will circle the fields of stagnancy and mediocrity for the rest of your life. On a parting note, please remember that life makes room for only those who make room for themselves and not for those who hope that room may be made for them.
Whatever ideas or dreams you have, I believe this is the time to step out and do something about them. Stop waiting for partners and cheer leaders rather step out and let the partners and cheer leaders seek you.

- By Ebiye Tammy -Koko