Unbelievable Greed

Sometime last year a childhood friend of mine called and told me that her mother would like to retain me as the attorney for their family property. I accepted. From the first legal fees I got from the estate, I gave a certain sum to my friend and her mum just to say thank you for the business. They were pleasantly surprised at my gesture and profusely thanked me too. Ever since that transaction I have drawn one lease agreement for a new tenant on the property only.

A few days ago, my friend’s mum called me and told me about a vacant flat in the property that she had recently leased out and she wanted me to meet with the tenant and draw up the usual agreement papers. I told her it was not a problem and asked her to send the tenant to my office. Surprisingly, before the tenant got to my office, my client (i.e. my friend’s mum) called me again and told me that I should find her and her sister “something.” I did not understand what she meant and so I asked her to explain and she repeated what she earlier said. It was then it dawned on me that she wanted me to give her and her sister part of my legal fees for this present work on the property. Then I asked her how much she wanted me to give to them and she asked me to use my discretion.

When I got off the phone, I was speechless. This was a woman that had just collected two years rent on this new lease. This sum was not enough for her and she wanted to share in the legal fees that the tenant was to pay me too! I know that in our country it is said that "anything goes", but even by these corrupt and greedy standards this was too much!

I have no words suitable enough to express my disappointment with this woman. This is a woman I have known since I was seventeen years old. I had so much respect for her especially for her faith in God. I never knew she could bow to greed to this extent. Where has it been heard that a client would avariciously long to share in the legal fees of his/her lawyer if not in this nation? Because she gave me charge of her property she has to share in my fees even after she has collected her full rent? In other words, she wants to eat from both ends - from her tenant and from her property lawyer. What words can adequately capture or describe such show of shame and disregard for integrity?

We all accuse our leaders and politicians of greed and corruption, yet greed and corruption is in the blood cells of most of the so called "ordinary man" or "ordinary masses" on the streets of our nation. Have you taken your car to a mechanic workshop before or called a technician or what we commonly call 'electrician' to do a job for you in the past or recently? What about the so called generator repairers? What has your experience been with these people? Many people I know including myself have frustrating and disappointing tales from dealing with these people. These frustrating experiences with these artisans illustrate what we are as a people. How many of us can claim that our business transactions are above board? Yet we are quick to point accusing fingers at politicians and public officers.

We need to work on ourselves as a people. Most people in this country ask for bribes and ‘kickbacks’ unashamedly. Very few people care about good name and reputation anymore. All people care about is money and more money and they sadly do not care how they get it.

If my client had told me that she was having some financial difficulty and asked for my assistance, I would have willingly assisted, but to ask to share in the legal fees I would be paid for doing a job for her after she had been fully paid by the tenant was out of line,unacceptable and a show of shame.

To accept her demands would be laying a bad precedent for the future. Today, it is herself and her sister, tomorrow, who knows their children may arise too and ask to share in this same fee.

Kindness, hospitality, generosity and neighborliness is fast disappearing from the horizon in our country and it is worrisome. Very few, if any do things for people out of the goodness of their hearts anymore. Everyone wants something back for what they do for you. The common norm now on the street is, “Nothing goes for nothing.”

I remember one day entering my sister’s bedroom and found her sad and downcast. I was worried and asked what the matter was and she said to me, “Sister, I just passed an interview for a job, but the HR Manager just called me and told me that if I do not go to bed with him, I will not get my employment letter. It keeps happening sister, everywhere I go for a job, these male managers make sexual propositions.” I felt her pain and encouraged her as best as I could. I asked her to hold on and not to compromise because God will come through for her in His time. My sister is fortunate to have older brothers and sisters who look out for her and take care of her financial needs, but what about those young women who do not have anyone to assist them through these jobless seasons? Is it any wonder that they fall into these traps out there? Is it any wonder that prostitution is on the increase? Some of these men who proposition these young girls are married with children. Sometimes the girls who come to their offices looking for jobs are same age mate with their daughters, yet they harden their hearts and frustrate their quest to actualize their dreams with demeaning sexual advances and propositions.

Friends, we need to do something about these dangerously greedy and corrupt trend in this nation. Looking for blame and solutions in the corridors of power is too far and too long a distance, lets look into our hearts, our souls and our minds and we will find the answers and solutions to this epidermic problem. Lets revisit and and redefine our core values again as individuals because EFCC cannot do it alone.

I had a meeting with my client and made my sentiments clear. May be desperate and hungry lawyers may accept such demands, but I am careful about precedents. If I perceive that I may suffer a potential discomfort or contention in the future, it is wiser to stop further steps in that direction or better still not to initiate the step from the on set. In my opinion she can brief another lawyer.

My close associates laugh at my naivety in some sharp business practices, but this was a limit for them too. It is unbelievable the things we allow and the compromises we make just to get ahead in life. We wonder when corruption will end in our nation, but in our little corner we succumb to the pressures of greed and corruption daily. What I do for my client is not friendship but business. To eat her money and eat mine too is greed and unacceptable business practice and in my opinion must not be allowed.
Written by Ebiye Tammy -Koko

Adding value in the work place.

Very few employees think of adding value to an establishment when they are employed. What they commonly think about is what they can get out of the organization. But value addition is the key to promotions. Your CV stops being impressive when you receive your employment letter. What your superiors would be looking for is the value you bring on the job.

This is why there are some organizations that are not particular about the class of your result from university, but they employ staff based on a ‘hunch’ or ‘feel’ of the person.

It is a corporate sin to leave a job the way it was given to you. In other words, when you are given a job or an assignment, you are expected to make a difference. Too often, when we take on positions we never explore new ways to tackle our assignments. We follow the same pattern of our predecessors and so we make no improvements or difference.

Your performance of a task is far more important than the salary or allowance that you are paid. This is because long after the salary is gone your performance will be speaking for you. Performance ensures that you rise in an organization. It also advertises you for future job opportunities. Our focus must therefore be removed from our pay packet to being relevant on the job. Anybody can earn a salary, but not everyone is relevant in an organization. It is your performance that makes you relevant and keeps you in the view of your management for promotions and salary reviews.

Apply yourself to the task at hand and do not just go through the motion of work. Use initiative and think outside the box to achieve quick and inexpensive results.
It is a common saying that no one is indispensable, but the reality is that there are certain people that management would be sorry to see leave. These are people who must of necessity be consulted before a decision is made in an organization. They are not necessarily the owners of the organization or the CEOs, but the performers – the people who are relevant and add value.

In our pursuit for job satisfaction or fulfillment we must work hard towards excellence in value addition. It is when you have given your best to your job that you really feel good about your self.

The fact is even if you are not paid handsomely for your contributions on the job today, the future is bright for you as you have developed capacity. Some day the job that truly deserves you will come your way.

Be guided by the fact that our career journey is divided into seasons. Some seasons are ‘learning curves’; others are planting seasons and yet others are harvest times. The ‘learning curves’ and planting seasons are seasons when you may feel ‘used’ because they are times when your contributions into the organization is not commensurate with your wages, but if you persevere in adding value and building your capacity, soon harvest season will open up for you – not necessarily at your present place of work, but elsewhere too. (Gen 8:22)

There are employees that are merely being tolerated by their management. Let’s face it – if your employers need to downsize about 20% of their work force today, do you think they would have any qualms letting you go?

When you are a value adder, employers would do everything in their power to keep you. But the first set of people to go when the need for downsizing arise are those who do not add value.

The key to relevance in the work place is to take ownership of your duties and responsibilities. In other words, do not work as an employee, but work as an employer on your assigned role. For instance, if you are a secretary, work like a CEO in that position. This is an attitude adjustment. Do not think like the help, but think like a boss in your position. This attitude adjustment helps you build confidence and a desire to apply yourself beyond the call of duty. Discover smart ways of performing your duties and strive to see that you are the best at your task. Do not hold back your potentials and skills because you are under paid, this will only make your position more insecure as your performance would be mediocre. And of course a mediocre performance will never motivate management to increase your salary.

Remember that it is not only the salary that is the issue, but also the need for building capacity. Let this fact motivate you to give your best and much more to where you are working right now and when the time is right, you will get the right job with the right pay.

-Written by Ebiye Tammy-Koko

The Weeds

One evening, my children and I were playing within the grounds of our home and I noticed that our flower beds had weeds. Instead of waiting for a hired hand, I decided to pull them out myself. As I started on this task, I observed that some of the weeds came off easily as I pulled, but others stuck fast and refused to come off. I should have gone back into the house and got a gardening tool that would have dealt with these stubborn roots, but I was too lazy to do so. As I kept weeding and observed this repeated pattern of some weeds coming off from the root completely and others stubbornly remaining in the soil I knew that my trouble with the weeds was not over because those roots that have stubbornly held on will grow again and disturb the peace of the flower beds.

The plight of my flower bed is no different from our lives. When we do not deal with issues from the root, we can be rest assured of a re-occurrence. Some people manage conflicts by repressing and suppressing their true emotions and feelings. They rarely, if ever disclose their true feelings on an issue. Around them is usually calm, but it is an uneasy calm because those repressed and suppressed issues will come up one day and cause an explosion that may be difficult to control or put out. The wiser approach is to deal with conflicts as they arise in a conciliatory manner.

Sometimes, people explode in anger not necessarily for what may have happened at that immediate instance, but for what happened yesterday, yester month or yester years that they refused or neglected to deal with or confront. It is far better to confront issues than to repress or suppress, but confrontation yields good fruits when the focus and aim is to build and not to scatter a relationship.

When I was much younger, I did not have a friendly or cheerful disposition. I was moody and melancholic. This attitude did not endear me to people. Not surprisingly I was disfavored in many quarters. People who had capacity to help me could not and would not help me because my attitude was a barrier. For many years I suffered from this attitude and I am sure that I must have lost a lot of benefits and blessings as a result. However, like the weeds in my yard, when I became aware and acknowledged that I had this attitude problem I decided to work on it. I deliberately began to put a smile on my face whether I felt like it or not. I went out of my way to make friends and greet people regularly. I started calling people on the phone just to find out how they were. I remembered birthdays and anniversaries and sent gifts too. I have always had a generous and compassionate nature, but for some reason the state of my heart never reflected on my face and attitude. And so instead of people embracing me in friendship, I was rejected by people. I worked on the disconnect between my heart and my attitude with everything I had on the inside because I knew that if I did not I will mess up my future as I did my past. Slowly, but surely the results began to show. I began to enjoy compliments to my face and also behind in my boss’s offices.

Presently, people think I have always been a friendly and cheerful person, but the fact is that what they see is an improvement of the old me. I had to work on myself by weeding what was unpleasant and poisonous to my dreams and goals. I could not live in denial that I had a problem. How long would I want to do that as the only person it would drain and poison is me.

We need to weed our lives of unpleasantness. There is a lady I know that is an incurable gossip. Pretty, smart and very intelligent, but she cannot help gossiping. Everywhere she goes she infects with her poisonous tongue. Whenever I find myself in her company I am extra careful and choosy with my words so that I do not hear my name in the rumor mill! This is surely a stubborn weed that must be pulled out. Could the root of this ‘weed’ be insecurity, approval addiction or a need for attention? Whatever it may be such roots must be uprooted from our lives so that our lives can breathe.

I remember a young lady whose preference for relationship was older and married men. She would never date young and single men. Her warped reason was that young single men did not know how to love and take care of a woman. When she started attending church regularly, she decided to see the pastor for counseling and it was in that session that it was revealed that she did not know her biological father and had never had a father figure in her life. She longed for a father’s love and this longing was the root reason she preferred dating older married men. In a misguided way, in their arms she felt like she was in her father’s arms.

I was lazy to go back into my house to pick up a garden tool to pull out the stubborn weeds in my flower beds, deferring it for another day, but in our life issues we must not defer or delay in identifying and pulling out roots that are negative to our lives. When this young woman in my narration discovered the root of her problem, she was able to find and apply the wisdom necessary for her situation. As I speak, she is married now with children.

As a serious farmer watches over his farm and makes out time to weed so we must watch over our lives and weed all poisonous and negative habits and attitudes.

We have been told several times that habits are easy to form, but difficult to break. This is true, but I have discovered that the spirit and will of man is more powerful than any stubborn habit. The only reason we appear to be overcome by bad habits is because we have not got a revelation or understanding of the injurious effect of that habit. As soon as you do, I can assure you that you will do everything in your power to root out a poisonous habit.
- by Ebiye Tammy-Koko

The Power of Self Confidence

I was reading a book by John Mason recently and I came across these words, “You may succeed if no one else believes in you, but you will never succeed if you don’t believe in yourself”. The truth in these words hit me hard and I could not go any further in the book. I stopped reading further for days so that I could meditate on these words and get them into my spirit and being.

People put a lot of premium on networking and ‘connections’ but neglect the most vital factor in their quest for success – you. If you do not believe in your abilities or capabilities you will never succeed. That is why the subject of self confidence and self esteem are subjects that must be explored by all who desire to succeed.

We have far too many people who believe in God but do not believe in themselves. They believe God can do everything but do not believe that He will and can do great things through them. When you keep disqualifying yourself on the inside, you will never be able to wear a winning look or take a winning posture on the outside. Success is attracted to winning postures, winning actions and winning declarations.
When we are easily bowed and cowered on the inside, we will never be able to rise on the outside. It is vital that you believe in your self and also like yourself so that you may succeed in life. It is good to have an education and I advocate for the best money can buy if you can afford it, but without self confidence education can do you no good. What is the point of education when you lack the confidence to apply it to good use?

In the historical and biblical account of David and Goliath, we find an illustration of a young man who not only believed in God, but also believed in himself. Whilst all the older and more experienced soldiers in the camp of Israel shied away in fear because of the size of Goliath, David confidently approached the giant and called off his bluff. Not only did he call off his bluff, he went further by killing him with just a stone and a catapult. You will never know what you are capable of accomplishing in life until you step out in confidence. This story has many underlying truths and keys for success, but paramount is the fact that what ever skill, talent or education we have now has the potential to take us to our next level if we can only be confident of ourselves.

I remember years ago when I had a strong impression in my guts to start writing and publishing my thoughts. I knew nothing about this line of work but I went out anyway and churned out something from the press mills! Thinking back now, that piece of work was hilarious, but I was more proud of it than what I presently turn out now because without that attempt even this blog and all my other works would not have been a reality. I believe in God’s ability to use man to change the world, but more particularly, I believe that He can work through me too to make that difference. I don’t know about you but I believe that I am a priceless gift to my generation. Some may say that this is arrogance, but I do not think so. When you peep through the windows of this world and see the mountainous problems, unbelief and skepticism that is milling around, you will agree that you need a God sized image of your self to hold your head up in this life.

When you begin to believe in your self you will never accept idleness or mediocrity. You will abhor stagnancy and unproductivity because faith in one’s self gives momentum to your actions and destiny. We wait for things to happen when we believe that others have to make things happen for us, but you move and keep moving when you do realize that your success depends mostly on you. According to Frank Tyger “Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you.”

Sometimes we face circumstances that make us lose confidence in ourselves. For instance repeated rejections and successive failures may destroy our self confidence, but when we do have an understanding that we cannot afford to pack up our lives for any reason we will rise above the worst attacks on our confidence. You may lose many things in this life and never give a care but one thing you must care about and ensure you never lose is your self confidence because it is what makes things happen for you. Your self confidence will turn the ugliest story of your life to a bestseller!

Recently the world was fascinated by the rise of Kate Middleton, now Duchess of Cambridge. This was our own 21st century ‘Cinderella story’. The rise of a ‘commoner’ to royalty gave hope to many that success was possible in this life in spite of the circumstances of birth or our seeming lowly estate. However, Kate had more than luck or a shining star in her favor. She may not be a princess by birth, but she is confident of herself to walk in princely corridors. I watched and listened to most of the commentaries that day of their wedding and one common observation people made was that she was quietly confident in the face of the overwhelming ceremony and attention her wedding to the prince attracted that day. She never missed a beat nor was she caught fidgeting. People were surprised about this calm confidence displayed by Kate, but I stopped being surprised when I read that she had always being a very determined person. A lot of what people display in the open – good or bad is who or what they truly are. As you cannot cover smoke with a lid it is extremely difficult to cover the true character of a person for a long time. Above all the luck and shining stars, Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge and wife of Prince William, Duke of Cambridge is a self confident woman. It is impossible to get that far without some faith in your self.

Opportunities will come and doors will open for us, but the question is, are we confident enough to embrace the responsibilities and rewards?

Motivational speaker and columnist Frank Crane said, “Our best friends and our worst enemies are the thoughts we have about ourselves” and Norman Vincent Peale warned, “Do not build up obstacles in your imagination.” We have to look beyond our present position and circumstances and start looking at where we can be. Several people have succeeded in accomplishing great feats not because they were luckier or have brighter stars, but because they believed that they could. Many I believe can sing and perform better than Beyonce or Rihana, but they have buried themselves in obscurity because they lack the confidence to step out and take a chance. What a waste and loss.

My intention for writing this article is to point us back to ourselves once again. We have been told that God can do all things and this is the truth, but there are some things that God will not do for us. These are the things that we can and are equipped to do for ourselves. You are equipped to believe in your self and rise above every adversity that comes your way, so do. Until you do you will circle the fields of stagnancy and mediocrity for the rest of your life. On a parting note, please remember that life makes room for only those who make room for themselves and not for those who hope that room may be made for them.
Whatever ideas or dreams you have, I believe this is the time to step out and do something about them. Stop waiting for partners and cheer leaders rather step out and let the partners and cheer leaders seek you.

- By Ebiye Tammy -Koko