Life Style Rules.

A month ago I did a fasting blood sugar test and a serum cholesterol test. The results were normal, but they were on the high side of normal. The doctor told me I was fine, but I was not comfortable with the results and so I decided to make some dietary changes. I decided to start a healthier diet plan and cut off certain foods and drinks that are likely to trigger high levels of sugar and cholesterol in my system. My plan was to watch it for about three months and do a retest.

I started this program about three weeks ago and I am very glad with my self control so far. It is far better to be proactive with life than to be reactive.

One day, as I was reflecting on the steps I had taken so far and counting my progress on the diet program, I realized that I was making an error. My error was that I was looking at being on this diet for a while and not looking at making it a lifestyle. The only way I can achieve a result that will truly be preventive and proactive would be if my dietary program became a lifestyle.

When this realization dawned, the pressure for result also lifted because if it becomes a lifestyle successful results would be inevitable. I stopped checking and ticking off on my calendar because lifestyle do not have timelines as it is who you are and what you do characteristically. It is your attitudes and your behavior. Lifestyle is your “way of living”. (The Chambers Dictionary, 10th Edition)

Lifestyle adjustment and changes remain at the center of effectiveness in our personal and public lives. Indeed if it is a true lifestyle change we will have only one life flowing seamlessly between what we commonly call “public’’ and “private lives” because wherever we play the spirit of who we are will rule our motives and actions. Until this adjustment is made we will only be role acting, but failing at effectiveness.

Interestingly, I saw a thread of this lifestyle rule in the introductory chapter of “The Spirit of Leadership” by Dr. Myles Munroe. In analyzing the reason for the lack of true leaders in today’s world, he wrote, “I believe the problem is that leadership has become a role one plays rather than a life one leads. Contemporary leaders are attempting to divorce their personal lives from their public responsibilities and their personal standards from their public lives. To many, leadership is an act not a calling…Leadership is not a technique, a style, or the acquisition of skills, but a manifestation of a spirit.” In a nutshell, what the author is saying is that we lack quality and effective leadership because the people in leadership positions have not made leadership their lifestyle. They play act it, but they do not live it. They wear the robes of leadership sometimes and remove it other times. The inevitable result of this attitude is ineffectiveness and inconsistencies.

This lifestyle rule applies in every area of our lives. For instance, if doing and being good becomes the life we lead, doing and being good would not be so difficult to achieve. However, the problem we have is that we have timelines for being and doing good. In other words, we do good for a while and then do the contrary other times. Because we are not in the act of goodness consistently our good results are inconsistent too.

Understanding this lifestyle rule the great Apostle Paul in his letter to the Galatian church wrote, “So we must not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we do not give up. (Gal 6:9, HCSB) Rewards for goodness become probable only when we make goodness a lifestyle. Lifestyle is a consistent attitude, behavior, characteristic or way of living. (The Chambers Dictionary, 10th Edition)

The lifestyle rule remains valid in our homes too. A wife must make it a lifestyle not to nag and the husband must make a lifestyle adjustment to truly listen to his wife. Both parties must make respecting each other a lifestyle - and not on some occasions. These lifestyle changes in our homes will ensure that we enjoy lifetime harmony because the style we bring to life and the issues of life determine the outcomes we get from life as there is no divorcing the two.

Unbelievable Greed

Sometime last year a childhood friend of mine called and told me that her mother would like to retain me as the attorney for their family property. I accepted. From the first legal fees I got from the estate, I gave a certain sum to my friend and her mum just to say thank you for the business. They were pleasantly surprised at my gesture and profusely thanked me too. Ever since that transaction I have drawn one lease agreement for a new tenant on the property only.

A few days ago, my friend’s mum called me and told me about a vacant flat in the property that she had recently leased out and she wanted me to meet with the tenant and draw up the usual agreement papers. I told her it was not a problem and asked her to send the tenant to my office. Surprisingly, before the tenant got to my office, my client (i.e. my friend’s mum) called me again and told me that I should find her and her sister “something.” I did not understand what she meant and so I asked her to explain and she repeated what she earlier said. It was then it dawned on me that she wanted me to give her and her sister part of my legal fees for this present work on the property. Then I asked her how much she wanted me to give to them and she asked me to use my discretion.

When I got off the phone, I was speechless. This was a woman that had just collected two years rent on this new lease. This sum was not enough for her and she wanted to share in the legal fees that the tenant was to pay me too! I know that in our country it is said that "anything goes", but even by these corrupt and greedy standards this was too much!

I have no words suitable enough to express my disappointment with this woman. This is a woman I have known since I was seventeen years old. I had so much respect for her especially for her faith in God. I never knew she could bow to greed to this extent. Where has it been heard that a client would avariciously long to share in the legal fees of his/her lawyer if not in this nation? Because she gave me charge of her property she has to share in my fees even after she has collected her full rent? In other words, she wants to eat from both ends - from her tenant and from her property lawyer. What words can adequately capture or describe such show of shame and disregard for integrity?

We all accuse our leaders and politicians of greed and corruption, yet greed and corruption is in the blood cells of most of the so called "ordinary man" or "ordinary masses" on the streets of our nation. Have you taken your car to a mechanic workshop before or called a technician or what we commonly call 'electrician' to do a job for you in the past or recently? What about the so called generator repairers? What has your experience been with these people? Many people I know including myself have frustrating and disappointing tales from dealing with these people. These frustrating experiences with these artisans illustrate what we are as a people. How many of us can claim that our business transactions are above board? Yet we are quick to point accusing fingers at politicians and public officers.

We need to work on ourselves as a people. Most people in this country ask for bribes and ‘kickbacks’ unashamedly. Very few people care about good name and reputation anymore. All people care about is money and more money and they sadly do not care how they get it.

If my client had told me that she was having some financial difficulty and asked for my assistance, I would have willingly assisted, but to ask to share in the legal fees I would be paid for doing a job for her after she had been fully paid by the tenant was out of line,unacceptable and a show of shame.

To accept her demands would be laying a bad precedent for the future. Today, it is herself and her sister, tomorrow, who knows their children may arise too and ask to share in this same fee.

Kindness, hospitality, generosity and neighborliness is fast disappearing from the horizon in our country and it is worrisome. Very few, if any do things for people out of the goodness of their hearts anymore. Everyone wants something back for what they do for you. The common norm now on the street is, “Nothing goes for nothing.”

I remember one day entering my sister’s bedroom and found her sad and downcast. I was worried and asked what the matter was and she said to me, “Sister, I just passed an interview for a job, but the HR Manager just called me and told me that if I do not go to bed with him, I will not get my employment letter. It keeps happening sister, everywhere I go for a job, these male managers make sexual propositions.” I felt her pain and encouraged her as best as I could. I asked her to hold on and not to compromise because God will come through for her in His time. My sister is fortunate to have older brothers and sisters who look out for her and take care of her financial needs, but what about those young women who do not have anyone to assist them through these jobless seasons? Is it any wonder that they fall into these traps out there? Is it any wonder that prostitution is on the increase? Some of these men who proposition these young girls are married with children. Sometimes the girls who come to their offices looking for jobs are same age mate with their daughters, yet they harden their hearts and frustrate their quest to actualize their dreams with demeaning sexual advances and propositions.

Friends, we need to do something about these dangerously greedy and corrupt trend in this nation. Looking for blame and solutions in the corridors of power is too far and too long a distance, lets look into our hearts, our souls and our minds and we will find the answers and solutions to this epidermic problem. Lets revisit and and redefine our core values again as individuals because EFCC cannot do it alone.

I had a meeting with my client and made my sentiments clear. May be desperate and hungry lawyers may accept such demands, but I am careful about precedents. If I perceive that I may suffer a potential discomfort or contention in the future, it is wiser to stop further steps in that direction or better still not to initiate the step from the on set. In my opinion she can brief another lawyer.

My close associates laugh at my naivety in some sharp business practices, but this was a limit for them too. It is unbelievable the things we allow and the compromises we make just to get ahead in life. We wonder when corruption will end in our nation, but in our little corner we succumb to the pressures of greed and corruption daily. What I do for my client is not friendship but business. To eat her money and eat mine too is greed and unacceptable business practice and in my opinion must not be allowed.
Written by Ebiye Tammy -Koko

Adding value in the work place.

Very few employees think of adding value to an establishment when they are employed. What they commonly think about is what they can get out of the organization. But value addition is the key to promotions. Your CV stops being impressive when you receive your employment letter. What your superiors would be looking for is the value you bring on the job.

This is why there are some organizations that are not particular about the class of your result from university, but they employ staff based on a ‘hunch’ or ‘feel’ of the person.

It is a corporate sin to leave a job the way it was given to you. In other words, when you are given a job or an assignment, you are expected to make a difference. Too often, when we take on positions we never explore new ways to tackle our assignments. We follow the same pattern of our predecessors and so we make no improvements or difference.

Your performance of a task is far more important than the salary or allowance that you are paid. This is because long after the salary is gone your performance will be speaking for you. Performance ensures that you rise in an organization. It also advertises you for future job opportunities. Our focus must therefore be removed from our pay packet to being relevant on the job. Anybody can earn a salary, but not everyone is relevant in an organization. It is your performance that makes you relevant and keeps you in the view of your management for promotions and salary reviews.

Apply yourself to the task at hand and do not just go through the motion of work. Use initiative and think outside the box to achieve quick and inexpensive results.
It is a common saying that no one is indispensable, but the reality is that there are certain people that management would be sorry to see leave. These are people who must of necessity be consulted before a decision is made in an organization. They are not necessarily the owners of the organization or the CEOs, but the performers – the people who are relevant and add value.

In our pursuit for job satisfaction or fulfillment we must work hard towards excellence in value addition. It is when you have given your best to your job that you really feel good about your self.

The fact is even if you are not paid handsomely for your contributions on the job today, the future is bright for you as you have developed capacity. Some day the job that truly deserves you will come your way.

Be guided by the fact that our career journey is divided into seasons. Some seasons are ‘learning curves’; others are planting seasons and yet others are harvest times. The ‘learning curves’ and planting seasons are seasons when you may feel ‘used’ because they are times when your contributions into the organization is not commensurate with your wages, but if you persevere in adding value and building your capacity, soon harvest season will open up for you – not necessarily at your present place of work, but elsewhere too. (Gen 8:22)

There are employees that are merely being tolerated by their management. Let’s face it – if your employers need to downsize about 20% of their work force today, do you think they would have any qualms letting you go?

When you are a value adder, employers would do everything in their power to keep you. But the first set of people to go when the need for downsizing arise are those who do not add value.

The key to relevance in the work place is to take ownership of your duties and responsibilities. In other words, do not work as an employee, but work as an employer on your assigned role. For instance, if you are a secretary, work like a CEO in that position. This is an attitude adjustment. Do not think like the help, but think like a boss in your position. This attitude adjustment helps you build confidence and a desire to apply yourself beyond the call of duty. Discover smart ways of performing your duties and strive to see that you are the best at your task. Do not hold back your potentials and skills because you are under paid, this will only make your position more insecure as your performance would be mediocre. And of course a mediocre performance will never motivate management to increase your salary.

Remember that it is not only the salary that is the issue, but also the need for building capacity. Let this fact motivate you to give your best and much more to where you are working right now and when the time is right, you will get the right job with the right pay.

-Written by Ebiye Tammy-Koko

The Weeds

One evening, my children and I were playing within the grounds of our home and I noticed that our flower beds had weeds. Instead of waiting for a hired hand, I decided to pull them out myself. As I started on this task, I observed that some of the weeds came off easily as I pulled, but others stuck fast and refused to come off. I should have gone back into the house and got a gardening tool that would have dealt with these stubborn roots, but I was too lazy to do so. As I kept weeding and observed this repeated pattern of some weeds coming off from the root completely and others stubbornly remaining in the soil I knew that my trouble with the weeds was not over because those roots that have stubbornly held on will grow again and disturb the peace of the flower beds.

The plight of my flower bed is no different from our lives. When we do not deal with issues from the root, we can be rest assured of a re-occurrence. Some people manage conflicts by repressing and suppressing their true emotions and feelings. They rarely, if ever disclose their true feelings on an issue. Around them is usually calm, but it is an uneasy calm because those repressed and suppressed issues will come up one day and cause an explosion that may be difficult to control or put out. The wiser approach is to deal with conflicts as they arise in a conciliatory manner.

Sometimes, people explode in anger not necessarily for what may have happened at that immediate instance, but for what happened yesterday, yester month or yester years that they refused or neglected to deal with or confront. It is far better to confront issues than to repress or suppress, but confrontation yields good fruits when the focus and aim is to build and not to scatter a relationship.

When I was much younger, I did not have a friendly or cheerful disposition. I was moody and melancholic. This attitude did not endear me to people. Not surprisingly I was disfavored in many quarters. People who had capacity to help me could not and would not help me because my attitude was a barrier. For many years I suffered from this attitude and I am sure that I must have lost a lot of benefits and blessings as a result. However, like the weeds in my yard, when I became aware and acknowledged that I had this attitude problem I decided to work on it. I deliberately began to put a smile on my face whether I felt like it or not. I went out of my way to make friends and greet people regularly. I started calling people on the phone just to find out how they were. I remembered birthdays and anniversaries and sent gifts too. I have always had a generous and compassionate nature, but for some reason the state of my heart never reflected on my face and attitude. And so instead of people embracing me in friendship, I was rejected by people. I worked on the disconnect between my heart and my attitude with everything I had on the inside because I knew that if I did not I will mess up my future as I did my past. Slowly, but surely the results began to show. I began to enjoy compliments to my face and also behind in my boss’s offices.

Presently, people think I have always been a friendly and cheerful person, but the fact is that what they see is an improvement of the old me. I had to work on myself by weeding what was unpleasant and poisonous to my dreams and goals. I could not live in denial that I had a problem. How long would I want to do that as the only person it would drain and poison is me.

We need to weed our lives of unpleasantness. There is a lady I know that is an incurable gossip. Pretty, smart and very intelligent, but she cannot help gossiping. Everywhere she goes she infects with her poisonous tongue. Whenever I find myself in her company I am extra careful and choosy with my words so that I do not hear my name in the rumor mill! This is surely a stubborn weed that must be pulled out. Could the root of this ‘weed’ be insecurity, approval addiction or a need for attention? Whatever it may be such roots must be uprooted from our lives so that our lives can breathe.

I remember a young lady whose preference for relationship was older and married men. She would never date young and single men. Her warped reason was that young single men did not know how to love and take care of a woman. When she started attending church regularly, she decided to see the pastor for counseling and it was in that session that it was revealed that she did not know her biological father and had never had a father figure in her life. She longed for a father’s love and this longing was the root reason she preferred dating older married men. In a misguided way, in their arms she felt like she was in her father’s arms.

I was lazy to go back into my house to pick up a garden tool to pull out the stubborn weeds in my flower beds, deferring it for another day, but in our life issues we must not defer or delay in identifying and pulling out roots that are negative to our lives. When this young woman in my narration discovered the root of her problem, she was able to find and apply the wisdom necessary for her situation. As I speak, she is married now with children.

As a serious farmer watches over his farm and makes out time to weed so we must watch over our lives and weed all poisonous and negative habits and attitudes.

We have been told several times that habits are easy to form, but difficult to break. This is true, but I have discovered that the spirit and will of man is more powerful than any stubborn habit. The only reason we appear to be overcome by bad habits is because we have not got a revelation or understanding of the injurious effect of that habit. As soon as you do, I can assure you that you will do everything in your power to root out a poisonous habit.
- by Ebiye Tammy-Koko

The Power of Self Confidence

I was reading a book by John Mason recently and I came across these words, “You may succeed if no one else believes in you, but you will never succeed if you don’t believe in yourself”. The truth in these words hit me hard and I could not go any further in the book. I stopped reading further for days so that I could meditate on these words and get them into my spirit and being.

People put a lot of premium on networking and ‘connections’ but neglect the most vital factor in their quest for success – you. If you do not believe in your abilities or capabilities you will never succeed. That is why the subject of self confidence and self esteem are subjects that must be explored by all who desire to succeed.

We have far too many people who believe in God but do not believe in themselves. They believe God can do everything but do not believe that He will and can do great things through them. When you keep disqualifying yourself on the inside, you will never be able to wear a winning look or take a winning posture on the outside. Success is attracted to winning postures, winning actions and winning declarations.
When we are easily bowed and cowered on the inside, we will never be able to rise on the outside. It is vital that you believe in your self and also like yourself so that you may succeed in life. It is good to have an education and I advocate for the best money can buy if you can afford it, but without self confidence education can do you no good. What is the point of education when you lack the confidence to apply it to good use?

In the historical and biblical account of David and Goliath, we find an illustration of a young man who not only believed in God, but also believed in himself. Whilst all the older and more experienced soldiers in the camp of Israel shied away in fear because of the size of Goliath, David confidently approached the giant and called off his bluff. Not only did he call off his bluff, he went further by killing him with just a stone and a catapult. You will never know what you are capable of accomplishing in life until you step out in confidence. This story has many underlying truths and keys for success, but paramount is the fact that what ever skill, talent or education we have now has the potential to take us to our next level if we can only be confident of ourselves.

I remember years ago when I had a strong impression in my guts to start writing and publishing my thoughts. I knew nothing about this line of work but I went out anyway and churned out something from the press mills! Thinking back now, that piece of work was hilarious, but I was more proud of it than what I presently turn out now because without that attempt even this blog and all my other works would not have been a reality. I believe in God’s ability to use man to change the world, but more particularly, I believe that He can work through me too to make that difference. I don’t know about you but I believe that I am a priceless gift to my generation. Some may say that this is arrogance, but I do not think so. When you peep through the windows of this world and see the mountainous problems, unbelief and skepticism that is milling around, you will agree that you need a God sized image of your self to hold your head up in this life.

When you begin to believe in your self you will never accept idleness or mediocrity. You will abhor stagnancy and unproductivity because faith in one’s self gives momentum to your actions and destiny. We wait for things to happen when we believe that others have to make things happen for us, but you move and keep moving when you do realize that your success depends mostly on you. According to Frank Tyger “Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you.”

Sometimes we face circumstances that make us lose confidence in ourselves. For instance repeated rejections and successive failures may destroy our self confidence, but when we do have an understanding that we cannot afford to pack up our lives for any reason we will rise above the worst attacks on our confidence. You may lose many things in this life and never give a care but one thing you must care about and ensure you never lose is your self confidence because it is what makes things happen for you. Your self confidence will turn the ugliest story of your life to a bestseller!

Recently the world was fascinated by the rise of Kate Middleton, now Duchess of Cambridge. This was our own 21st century ‘Cinderella story’. The rise of a ‘commoner’ to royalty gave hope to many that success was possible in this life in spite of the circumstances of birth or our seeming lowly estate. However, Kate had more than luck or a shining star in her favor. She may not be a princess by birth, but she is confident of herself to walk in princely corridors. I watched and listened to most of the commentaries that day of their wedding and one common observation people made was that she was quietly confident in the face of the overwhelming ceremony and attention her wedding to the prince attracted that day. She never missed a beat nor was she caught fidgeting. People were surprised about this calm confidence displayed by Kate, but I stopped being surprised when I read that she had always being a very determined person. A lot of what people display in the open – good or bad is who or what they truly are. As you cannot cover smoke with a lid it is extremely difficult to cover the true character of a person for a long time. Above all the luck and shining stars, Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge and wife of Prince William, Duke of Cambridge is a self confident woman. It is impossible to get that far without some faith in your self.

Opportunities will come and doors will open for us, but the question is, are we confident enough to embrace the responsibilities and rewards?

Motivational speaker and columnist Frank Crane said, “Our best friends and our worst enemies are the thoughts we have about ourselves” and Norman Vincent Peale warned, “Do not build up obstacles in your imagination.” We have to look beyond our present position and circumstances and start looking at where we can be. Several people have succeeded in accomplishing great feats not because they were luckier or have brighter stars, but because they believed that they could. Many I believe can sing and perform better than Beyonce or Rihana, but they have buried themselves in obscurity because they lack the confidence to step out and take a chance. What a waste and loss.

My intention for writing this article is to point us back to ourselves once again. We have been told that God can do all things and this is the truth, but there are some things that God will not do for us. These are the things that we can and are equipped to do for ourselves. You are equipped to believe in your self and rise above every adversity that comes your way, so do. Until you do you will circle the fields of stagnancy and mediocrity for the rest of your life. On a parting note, please remember that life makes room for only those who make room for themselves and not for those who hope that room may be made for them.
Whatever ideas or dreams you have, I believe this is the time to step out and do something about them. Stop waiting for partners and cheer leaders rather step out and let the partners and cheer leaders seek you.

- By Ebiye Tammy -Koko

Flight 222

Many years ago I worked in an airline as a hostess. I traveled so much in that period of time to last me a lifetime. It is probably the reason I do not travel as much these days. Sometimes, I spent weeks outside Nigeria shuttling from one country to another. But one day, I had had enough and decided to resign. The company owed me some arears in salary and allowances and so I applied and requested these to be paid to me in full. But I was not paid. Relentlessly I pursued these payments because it was a lot of money – then.

To my rude shock, instead of a cheque I received a letter from my former employers accusing me of not remitting well over $10,000 to the accounts department on my return from a flight I was supposed to have led and managed to the Gambia. I think my mouth must have flung open as I read this letter! I was practically been accused of fraudulent conversion of company funds. I was confused. Could it be possible that I really forgot to remit the money, I asked myself, but how could I have? It is the practice of lead hosts/hostesses of flights to collect money and other documents from the country offices they fly to and then remit these to the head office upon arrival. As a matter of fact the station manager and his ground staff meet the aircrafts on arrival and we sign off on all issues in the aircraft when passengers disembark. So, there was no way in the world that I would have gone off with over $10,000. The suspicious aspect of this whole allegation was that this particular flight that I was said to have led to the Gambia was done some months ago. Why is the company just realizing that they were missing this large sum of money? Knowing the management of this company, this oversight was way out of character too.

I knew I did not take this money I was accused of but my challenge was how do I prove my innocence? Since I had resigned, the company refused me access to check their flight schedule records. I had nothing to fall back on. I was truly scared because I could so easily be slapped with a law suit if I did not come up with some hard evidence to clear my name.

The only option I had was to pray and pray I did. One day, as I laid on my bed thinking of this mess I was in, suddenly, like a flash I remembered a diary I used to keep the previous year. And something impressed on my heart strongly to find that diary and check its entries. I turned my bedroom upside down and located this pocket size diary and behold the diary contained entries I had made of my travel schedule in that particular work season. I flipped to the date in question and saw that on the very day that I was accused of being on a flight to the Gambia I had entered “ 222”, this was the company code for flights to Mumbai, India. It meant that I was not in Gambia on that particular day but en route to Mumbai in India! There was no way I could have led a flight to Gambia and also be on another one to India on the same day. From my records in the diary, both flights left the international airport in Lagos same night!

Oh what joy, peace and relief I felt. With confidence now in my heart, I sat down and crafted a very strong response to that hateful letter that broke my heart. Needless to say that was the last I heard of that matter.

Oh, what a trial that was. I learned the invaluable lesson of keeping records that season of my life. I am still not very good at it even now, but at least not as bad as I used to be. However, a recent incident in my present firm reminded me once again that I must never forget that lesson.

I read law, but I happen to have more experience in business development, management and administration having worked more in the corporate sector. So, when I decided to come back to practice law, my boss asked that I should also assist the firm with my other skills. Typical with most law firms in the country, this was without an extra pay, but I was glad to help out. Now, two days ago, a requisition was made to purchase some office stationery and my boss queried it strongly. I heard his strong objections from my office and the next thing I heard was, “Call me Mrs. Koko!” I answered this call and when I entered my boss’ office I saw the other partner seated too. And the interrogation started on the requisition. My boss categorically said that he “smelt some foul play” because an item on the requisition sheet ought not to have run out now since it was not too long ago that we bought the same item. Calmly, I asked a member of the Admin team to bring the records on my desk and we traced all the purchases of this particular item in question from the date I started assisting the firm administratively. From the records his suspicions of "foul play" were unfounded.

Just like my previous employer, my present employer was silenced and all “foul play” suspicions were laid to rest. As a matter of fact, as I packed my records and was leaving his office, he called me back and in front of the other partner thanked me for the meticulous records and released the money for the purchases. The voice of records speaks louder and is more persuasive than mere pleas of innocence or claims of integrity.

As I walked back to my office, like a flash, I remembered the airline incident of many years ago. Like in that incident, what would have been my fate if I did not have records to prove my claims? Without question, my integrity would have been smeared and I would have lost the respect of my colleagues and boss.

Many tasks we undertake in our personal lives, homes and at work may be tedious and unpleasant but they add up at the end of the day to protect and complement our lives. For instance, money and time are currencies we spend everyday but it has been my experience that not many people track or record how they spend these invaluable currencies. It may be tedious, but when you develop the habit of recording every cent or penny you spend and what you spend it on, it will prophesy to you what your future will be. It is the same with time. People who are not going anywhere waste time, but those going somewhere invest time. When you keep a time log book and track how you spend each day, you can add up time you wasted and time you invested. Wasted time does not have returns but time invested comes back to add value to our lives. It is the records that we take and keep that show whether we are wise or wasteful stewards of time, money and other resources.

However, as important as records are we must be careful what we record. Never keep record of what you do not want to remember and never repeat unduly sad or bad events in your life. Words and pictures relive events – good or bad. And so it is wiser to only record moments that will bring alive or relive happy events and moments rather than unhappy ones. Who wants to relive the day she caught her husband with another woman in a candle lit romantic restaurant? Why keep the record in your diary, then? As long as you have that record and relive the moment, you will be unable to forgive him and move on. That record will keep you locked in a painful moment in time even if you live to be 120yrs old. Emotionally you will not grow beyond that moment. It will blight your perception of men and marriage and in the end whatever counsel you give to your children on love and marriage will be blighted too.

The record I kept of “Flight 222” many years ago saved me from prosecution and the later purchase records saved my integrity and reputation. These were defining moments in my life and accurate records saved the day for me. Some of us go into business transactions with people with just a “gentleman handshake” and no formal documentation. This is not a wise decision and it may likely undo you in the future because people are at different levels of moral development. It will shock you to know that it is a very small percentage of people who can keep their initial word when money is in question. But when there is a formal documentation of obligations and considerations of parties, conduct is appropriately guided in an expected direction.

Let us wake up and close the gaps and tie the loose ends in our lives by taking and keeping appropriate records and drawing the necessary paper documentations for our business transactions. I promise you this habit will save you many sleepless nights. Endorse your signature on what needs to be signed off after a detailed scrutiny of the papers or documents, but do not endorse any project or document that raises questions in your heart no matter how urgent or important. Never forget that in an office or business environment everything we do is recorded and may come back to save or bite us in the future.

Written by Ebiye Tammy -Koko
April 16, 2011

Raise the bar!

I was sorting out what to wear to Church and I happened to sight a traditional dress I had made and collected weeks before, but not tried on. So I decided to wear it the next day for church. But first I tried it on to see if it fits. I could not believe my eyes when I wore it! The breast cups were on my neck, one hand was longer than the other and it was so tight that I could not even draw the zipper! I looked at this dress and I was speechless. The dress looked like a carpenter made it and not a tailor! Does she not have my measurement, I wondered as I looked at this sorry piece of work.

As I gaped at myself in this ‘artwork’, my sister could not help bursting into laughter. I glared at her because it was not funny at all. But the more I glared the more she laughed. Indeed I was a sight to behold in this ensemble.

My sister assisted me to struggle out of it and I neatly folded it into a bag so I could give it to another tailor if per chance they would be able to make some sense out of it for me. I am definitely done with this tailor for good, I told myself. This is not the first time I am having this type of rude shock from her. It has become a pattern that whenever she makes dresses for me she would end up amending and readjusting about two or three times before she gets it right and sometimes I have had to discard clothes she made because there was just no way for remedy.

As I folded this recent disaster into a bag I asked myself why I have continued to patronize her to date. In one of Mike Murdock's wisdom books, he wrote, "never complain about what you tolerate" so why am I tolerating and complaining about this incompetence? Why have I not severed relationship with this tailor? And like a flash I realized that I had tolerated this woman for as long as I have because she has a very pleasant nature. She is a very warm and friendly person and I am a sucker for personalities like that. But this time I have had enough.I am not paying for a pleasant nature, but for skills and if I am not getting it I need to sever the relationship.

When you open a business and put a sign on it you invite the public to treat. In other words, your open doors imply to the public that you qualify and know what you are doing. When you fail, a pleasant nature will not help you especially if in extreme cases you land your self a law suit for your professional incompetence.

People come to your office for your professional skills and not for your friendship. If you do not give them the skill they pay for they will take their business elsewhere. This is in spite of the fact that they are friends or family.

There are many unqualified business owners today. Please do not be deceived by the décor of their offices, but insist on seeing proof of previous work otherwise you may be sorry. In economies like ours, primarily because of the high rate of poverty, there are many "Jacks of all trades, but masters of none." They claim to do every thing, but cannot do one thing right. They are caterers, contractors, dress makers, hair dressers and event planners all rolled into one! Be very wary of people like this until they give you proof of competence in all the areas they claim to have expertise.

Be it a salon, a tailoring shop, a hospital or a clinic, a church, etc, we need to be careful because there are many ‘posh’ and ‘elite’ hospitals that are sending people to early graves and many churches that are not founded on God’s word.

I am presently planning to branch out in a completely new direction of business. I have a natural talent for this line of work, but talent alone is not enough. So,I enrolled in a post graduate program to be better prepared and equipped before I step out. I am doing this primarily for my self confidence and for my future clientele and also because I appreciate that skillful professionalism sells faster than a pleasant nature. A pleasant nature becomes an added value only when the right skill is in place.

Just in case you are a business owner and you are wondering why you are losing your customers or clients, could it be because you are not offering skill and professionalism? It is time we stop blaming our failures on difficult clients or the economy and work on developing our skill and service delivery.

I called my tailor and made my complaints known to her and I also advised her to acquire more skills if she wants to grow in her line of work. She apologized and asked to correct the errors, but really I am done with her services for good. The truth is I like this lady a lot. I feel really conflicted as I sever our professional relationship, but I can no longer tolerate her work. I have no problem with her as a human being, but my problem is with her tailoring skills and so I have decided to keep her as a friend, but not as my tailor anymore.

"What goes around comes around", the adage says, so I too need to raise the bar of skill, professionalism and service delivery in my chosen field because if I am found wanting professionally I would surely be passed on for a better service provider.

Ciao!

Ebiye