Flight 222

Many years ago I worked in an airline as a hostess. I traveled so much in that period of time to last me a lifetime. It is probably the reason I do not travel as much these days. Sometimes, I spent weeks outside Nigeria shuttling from one country to another. But one day, I had had enough and decided to resign. The company owed me some arears in salary and allowances and so I applied and requested these to be paid to me in full. But I was not paid. Relentlessly I pursued these payments because it was a lot of money – then.

To my rude shock, instead of a cheque I received a letter from my former employers accusing me of not remitting well over $10,000 to the accounts department on my return from a flight I was supposed to have led and managed to the Gambia. I think my mouth must have flung open as I read this letter! I was practically been accused of fraudulent conversion of company funds. I was confused. Could it be possible that I really forgot to remit the money, I asked myself, but how could I have? It is the practice of lead hosts/hostesses of flights to collect money and other documents from the country offices they fly to and then remit these to the head office upon arrival. As a matter of fact the station manager and his ground staff meet the aircrafts on arrival and we sign off on all issues in the aircraft when passengers disembark. So, there was no way in the world that I would have gone off with over $10,000. The suspicious aspect of this whole allegation was that this particular flight that I was said to have led to the Gambia was done some months ago. Why is the company just realizing that they were missing this large sum of money? Knowing the management of this company, this oversight was way out of character too.

I knew I did not take this money I was accused of but my challenge was how do I prove my innocence? Since I had resigned, the company refused me access to check their flight schedule records. I had nothing to fall back on. I was truly scared because I could so easily be slapped with a law suit if I did not come up with some hard evidence to clear my name.

The only option I had was to pray and pray I did. One day, as I laid on my bed thinking of this mess I was in, suddenly, like a flash I remembered a diary I used to keep the previous year. And something impressed on my heart strongly to find that diary and check its entries. I turned my bedroom upside down and located this pocket size diary and behold the diary contained entries I had made of my travel schedule in that particular work season. I flipped to the date in question and saw that on the very day that I was accused of being on a flight to the Gambia I had entered “ 222”, this was the company code for flights to Mumbai, India. It meant that I was not in Gambia on that particular day but en route to Mumbai in India! There was no way I could have led a flight to Gambia and also be on another one to India on the same day. From my records in the diary, both flights left the international airport in Lagos same night!

Oh what joy, peace and relief I felt. With confidence now in my heart, I sat down and crafted a very strong response to that hateful letter that broke my heart. Needless to say that was the last I heard of that matter.

Oh, what a trial that was. I learned the invaluable lesson of keeping records that season of my life. I am still not very good at it even now, but at least not as bad as I used to be. However, a recent incident in my present firm reminded me once again that I must never forget that lesson.

I read law, but I happen to have more experience in business development, management and administration having worked more in the corporate sector. So, when I decided to come back to practice law, my boss asked that I should also assist the firm with my other skills. Typical with most law firms in the country, this was without an extra pay, but I was glad to help out. Now, two days ago, a requisition was made to purchase some office stationery and my boss queried it strongly. I heard his strong objections from my office and the next thing I heard was, “Call me Mrs. Koko!” I answered this call and when I entered my boss’ office I saw the other partner seated too. And the interrogation started on the requisition. My boss categorically said that he “smelt some foul play” because an item on the requisition sheet ought not to have run out now since it was not too long ago that we bought the same item. Calmly, I asked a member of the Admin team to bring the records on my desk and we traced all the purchases of this particular item in question from the date I started assisting the firm administratively. From the records his suspicions of "foul play" were unfounded.

Just like my previous employer, my present employer was silenced and all “foul play” suspicions were laid to rest. As a matter of fact, as I packed my records and was leaving his office, he called me back and in front of the other partner thanked me for the meticulous records and released the money for the purchases. The voice of records speaks louder and is more persuasive than mere pleas of innocence or claims of integrity.

As I walked back to my office, like a flash, I remembered the airline incident of many years ago. Like in that incident, what would have been my fate if I did not have records to prove my claims? Without question, my integrity would have been smeared and I would have lost the respect of my colleagues and boss.

Many tasks we undertake in our personal lives, homes and at work may be tedious and unpleasant but they add up at the end of the day to protect and complement our lives. For instance, money and time are currencies we spend everyday but it has been my experience that not many people track or record how they spend these invaluable currencies. It may be tedious, but when you develop the habit of recording every cent or penny you spend and what you spend it on, it will prophesy to you what your future will be. It is the same with time. People who are not going anywhere waste time, but those going somewhere invest time. When you keep a time log book and track how you spend each day, you can add up time you wasted and time you invested. Wasted time does not have returns but time invested comes back to add value to our lives. It is the records that we take and keep that show whether we are wise or wasteful stewards of time, money and other resources.

However, as important as records are we must be careful what we record. Never keep record of what you do not want to remember and never repeat unduly sad or bad events in your life. Words and pictures relive events – good or bad. And so it is wiser to only record moments that will bring alive or relive happy events and moments rather than unhappy ones. Who wants to relive the day she caught her husband with another woman in a candle lit romantic restaurant? Why keep the record in your diary, then? As long as you have that record and relive the moment, you will be unable to forgive him and move on. That record will keep you locked in a painful moment in time even if you live to be 120yrs old. Emotionally you will not grow beyond that moment. It will blight your perception of men and marriage and in the end whatever counsel you give to your children on love and marriage will be blighted too.

The record I kept of “Flight 222” many years ago saved me from prosecution and the later purchase records saved my integrity and reputation. These were defining moments in my life and accurate records saved the day for me. Some of us go into business transactions with people with just a “gentleman handshake” and no formal documentation. This is not a wise decision and it may likely undo you in the future because people are at different levels of moral development. It will shock you to know that it is a very small percentage of people who can keep their initial word when money is in question. But when there is a formal documentation of obligations and considerations of parties, conduct is appropriately guided in an expected direction.

Let us wake up and close the gaps and tie the loose ends in our lives by taking and keeping appropriate records and drawing the necessary paper documentations for our business transactions. I promise you this habit will save you many sleepless nights. Endorse your signature on what needs to be signed off after a detailed scrutiny of the papers or documents, but do not endorse any project or document that raises questions in your heart no matter how urgent or important. Never forget that in an office or business environment everything we do is recorded and may come back to save or bite us in the future.

Written by Ebiye Tammy -Koko
April 16, 2011

Raise the bar!

I was sorting out what to wear to Church and I happened to sight a traditional dress I had made and collected weeks before, but not tried on. So I decided to wear it the next day for church. But first I tried it on to see if it fits. I could not believe my eyes when I wore it! The breast cups were on my neck, one hand was longer than the other and it was so tight that I could not even draw the zipper! I looked at this dress and I was speechless. The dress looked like a carpenter made it and not a tailor! Does she not have my measurement, I wondered as I looked at this sorry piece of work.

As I gaped at myself in this ‘artwork’, my sister could not help bursting into laughter. I glared at her because it was not funny at all. But the more I glared the more she laughed. Indeed I was a sight to behold in this ensemble.

My sister assisted me to struggle out of it and I neatly folded it into a bag so I could give it to another tailor if per chance they would be able to make some sense out of it for me. I am definitely done with this tailor for good, I told myself. This is not the first time I am having this type of rude shock from her. It has become a pattern that whenever she makes dresses for me she would end up amending and readjusting about two or three times before she gets it right and sometimes I have had to discard clothes she made because there was just no way for remedy.

As I folded this recent disaster into a bag I asked myself why I have continued to patronize her to date. In one of Mike Murdock's wisdom books, he wrote, "never complain about what you tolerate" so why am I tolerating and complaining about this incompetence? Why have I not severed relationship with this tailor? And like a flash I realized that I had tolerated this woman for as long as I have because she has a very pleasant nature. She is a very warm and friendly person and I am a sucker for personalities like that. But this time I have had enough.I am not paying for a pleasant nature, but for skills and if I am not getting it I need to sever the relationship.

When you open a business and put a sign on it you invite the public to treat. In other words, your open doors imply to the public that you qualify and know what you are doing. When you fail, a pleasant nature will not help you especially if in extreme cases you land your self a law suit for your professional incompetence.

People come to your office for your professional skills and not for your friendship. If you do not give them the skill they pay for they will take their business elsewhere. This is in spite of the fact that they are friends or family.

There are many unqualified business owners today. Please do not be deceived by the décor of their offices, but insist on seeing proof of previous work otherwise you may be sorry. In economies like ours, primarily because of the high rate of poverty, there are many "Jacks of all trades, but masters of none." They claim to do every thing, but cannot do one thing right. They are caterers, contractors, dress makers, hair dressers and event planners all rolled into one! Be very wary of people like this until they give you proof of competence in all the areas they claim to have expertise.

Be it a salon, a tailoring shop, a hospital or a clinic, a church, etc, we need to be careful because there are many ‘posh’ and ‘elite’ hospitals that are sending people to early graves and many churches that are not founded on God’s word.

I am presently planning to branch out in a completely new direction of business. I have a natural talent for this line of work, but talent alone is not enough. So,I enrolled in a post graduate program to be better prepared and equipped before I step out. I am doing this primarily for my self confidence and for my future clientele and also because I appreciate that skillful professionalism sells faster than a pleasant nature. A pleasant nature becomes an added value only when the right skill is in place.

Just in case you are a business owner and you are wondering why you are losing your customers or clients, could it be because you are not offering skill and professionalism? It is time we stop blaming our failures on difficult clients or the economy and work on developing our skill and service delivery.

I called my tailor and made my complaints known to her and I also advised her to acquire more skills if she wants to grow in her line of work. She apologized and asked to correct the errors, but really I am done with her services for good. The truth is I like this lady a lot. I feel really conflicted as I sever our professional relationship, but I can no longer tolerate her work. I have no problem with her as a human being, but my problem is with her tailoring skills and so I have decided to keep her as a friend, but not as my tailor anymore.

"What goes around comes around", the adage says, so I too need to raise the bar of skill, professionalism and service delivery in my chosen field because if I am found wanting professionally I would surely be passed on for a better service provider.

Ciao!

Ebiye

Dear Mama

Felicia Peters was very worried about her son. He was generally a good boy, but since he started college his attitude has turned negative.Her respectful son became rude and disrespectful to everyone at the slightest excuse and sometimes even without provocation. He was known for his thoughtfulness, rarely asked for anything except it was absolutely necessary, but he began to make unnecessary demands and became violent if all his requests were not granted. Initially, his dear mother thought he was under pressure from his school activities or probably having girl trouble. She tried to talk to him to see how she could help him, but he would not talk to her. Baffled and troubled, she decided to ask some friends with children in colleges to find out if it was a common attitude problem with students in college. But she discovered this was not necessarily a behavior pattern for college students.

Perplexed she started praying for her son. Then one day, her friend’s son confided in his mum that Felicia Peter’s son was a drug addict. When this information reached her, she broke down and wept uncontrollably. She was so heartbroken that she could not eat for days. The puzzle was finally solved. It was a drug problem. The signs were all there but she never thought that her boy could be on drugs. She now began to understand his unusual constant demand for money and the strange and sudden disappearances of money and valuable items from the house. Her son was apparently finding ways to feed his drug habit. Where did I go wrong, she asked no one in particular? What did I not do right? Where did I fail? But there were no answers.

She confronted her son and he did not deny it. As a matter of fact he asked her rudely to mind her own business. "You are my business, son, she wailed helplessly. She pleaded with him to stop drugs and offered to get him professional help, but he refused. He eventually dropped out of college and his condition became worse by the day. Sometimes he left home for days without a word and would come back looking like a lunatic, filthy and smelly with rashes all over his body. The change of her son was heartbreaking to behold.

With a broken heart she intensified her prayers. She sought the counsel of pastors and they joined her in prayers too. She never failed to make a prayer request for her son each time she was in church. Everyone knew her and the story of her son. He was a disgrace and shame to the entire family. Everyone in the family gave up hope that he will become anything of worth in life. As a matter of fact it was expected by most that sooner than later he may die of a drug overdose or a related complication.

In spite of this morbid expectations of people Felicia Peters never gave up on her boy. One day, whilst she was in church an announcement was made that the lease of the church had expired and there was need for them to move. A call was made for everyone to assist in looking for a suitable place for their relocation. After the church service she called on the Pastor and told him not to look any further because she had a property she wanted to donate to the church as a permanent dwelling place. The pastor and the elders were stupefied. They offered to pay for the property, but she refused to take any money. She said to the pastor, “I do not need money, sir. What use is money and property when I have a son that is lost to hard drugs? My only request is that God may remember me and deliver my son from this addiction. I give this land to the Lord as a seed – a point of contact for the deliverance of my son. If God resides on my property to carry on His activity of soul winning then I will be confident that one day my son’s soul, spirit and body would be saved too.” Fully understanding the weight of this donation, the senior pastor and his team with one voice cried to God and prayed yet again on her behalf. And they never ceased praying.

Fifteen years after this gift to the Lord’s church, Felicia Peter’s son married in that same church that was built on the land she gave to God. Now, fully delivered from drug addiction, successful in business, faithful worker and leader in the church, he stands proud and tall for the world to see. He got here because his dear mother would not give up on him.

I was at his wedding too and witnessed the happy turn of events. Only a mother would hold on to her child when all hope is gone.

We perceive and interpret life from different angles so I do not know what you have taken from this true life story. Speaking for myself,this story impacted me in many ways. I know Felicia Peter's son now, but I was not acquainted to him when he was an addict. So, it is extremely hard for me to believe that he was once in this pathetic state and was labelled a 'family disgrace and shame.' The transformation is simply unbelievable.

It goes to show that anything is possible and anyone can become anything in this life. It is a lesson to us all that we should never write off people or be disdainful because of their present state, level, position or circumstances. For instance, it is pretty easy to be audacious or 'talk down' at your driver (or chauffeur),house maids, secretaries, security men and office assistants,etc but we do need to be reminded that these individuals have a destiny in God just like we do too. There are some very wealthy and successful people today who at some point in their lives hawked petty wares on the streets of major cities and trekked to school without shoes. However, today their stories have changed because destinies do birth and stars do shine eventually.

Most important of all, this story drove home the truth that what we give to people only leave our hands, but never leave our lives. What you give to others, good or bad will wait for you in the future. Felicia Peters gave out a parcel of land, but today she is richer for it. She got back several more property in the past fifteen years, but above all she got her son back too.

I told this story for several reasons, but chief of all that it may encourage at least one discouraged or helpless mother to hold on and have faith in God. Whatever your child's story is be persuaded that all things are possible with God if you can believe.

To all the mothers out there, do not let go of your child. Do not discriminate between your children and do not write any child off because you never know. Do not treat your biological child better than your step child, adopted or foster child, but love all of them equally with the love of God. There is nothing you do or give to a child that is in vain or a waste because the harvest of your seed of love will be waiting for you in the future like it did for Felicia Peters.

Happy Mother’s Day and peace to all mothers in the world!

NB:The story in this post is true, but the name, ‘Felicia Peters’ is a mere figment of my imagination to cover the real identity of the characters in the story.

The Traffic Warden

Yesterday, I saw a Traffic Warden I could not help admiring on my way to work. I saw him at his duty post directing the early morning traffic. He was doing his job with so much enthusiasm that I could not help but wonder about him. Very rarely do you see traffic officers do their jobs in my country with enthusiasm and cheer, but this particular man was a first for me. There was so much energy and passion applied to his task that you could not help but notice him. As he directed me on I could see passion and life in his every action.

My first thought was, ‘why is he so happy?’ but then I caught myself quickly, why should he not be? Traffic police officers are not paid much in my neck of the wood, but this man was joyfully doing his part to serve God and country. There may be nothing to envy about his financial and social status yet he exuded confidence and joy and in the process motivated and inspired people watching him to be happy.

As I drove to work and in the course of the day I kept thinking about this happy man. My conclusion is that we determine how we live in this life. Sadness and joy are choices that every human being will make. This man made a choice that morning to be happy, but others like him made a choice to be dull and grumpy. The attitudinal choices we make determine the outcome of each day, each month and each year.

In the same vein, I had the privilege of making the acquaintance of a couple who had been married for 19 years without a child. This is not by choice, mind you. They desire to have children, but have not been able to in spite of the best medical assistance and fervent prayers. When I first got to know about their circumstance I was very shocked because you will never know by watching them. They are so happy and full of faith in God. I had a conversation with them one day and the gentleman said to me, “My sister, it does not bother me. Why should I worry and make myself unhappy about what I have no power to change?”This wonderful couple stand by each other and together are quenching the fiery flames that are burning in the homes of others who have the same kind of challenge. Their stoic faith in God and for each other motivates other couples to be happy and hopeful too. Yet there are couples who have separated or divorced on account of this same challenge. A wise man once said (I am paraphrasing), “I may not be able to control what happens to me in life, but I can control how I respond or react to those things.” It is this attitudinal adjustment that determines our joy or sadness in life.

A new month has just begun. I want to ask, what will your choices be? Happiness or sadness? The reality of life is that no one can make you happy, but you. Those who married with the belief that their spouses were created to humor them always must have been rudely shocked. There is no perfect man or woman and there is no perfect job or friend. It is only our attitudes in imperfect relationships and circumstances that create joy and happiness for us.

The best advice i can give to myself and to anyone who cares to listen is this,do not wait for events to make you happy rather create happy events for yourself. I have discovered that life is pretty much ordinary, but we can make every day spectacular by our choices. Are you divorced? This is a tough situation, but you can be happy again, I assure you. However, it will take only you to pull yourself out from the pit of depression and loneliness.

Our issues can either be like mountains or mole hills depending on our view of them. Through the lens of joy and optimism they become mole hills, but through the lens of sadness, they become like mountains. Let us opt for the lens of joy.
Let us opt for the choice of the Traffic Warden to be happy and infect whoever we come across with joy and happiness.

It is a weekend now and what better time to relax and be happy with life...be innovative and do something different from last weekend with your loved ones and family. Buy your spouse a gift or take him/her out on a date.

Pour your life into that of another...do something to lift the spirit of someone this weekend and I assure you that you will find reasons to be happy with your life like the Traffic Warden.

Peace.